“Hey! Like my picture?
Being a Bridal Makeup Artist is a real advantage – don’t you think?
My name is Joanna Kelley, Jo for short, but my friends call me Mayor Kelley.
I know, I know, I’m not the mayor yet – but things are looking good!
It seems that Hizzoner has managed to get himself in a tough spot. Some folks are saying he has lost his way (poor lamb), especially after the McIntyre mess. Instead of buying the most valuable piece of property in Portsmouth for $1, he bought a lawsuit that could cost the city millions of dollars.
When he finally got around to looking into Senator Gregg’s 2004 law that would have turned over the McIntrye property to the City for free, it was too late.
None of Hizzoner’s “friends” in the NH Congressional delegation – Shaheen, Hassan, Pappas – have come through. Two meetings with a GSA Regional Administrator were cancelled without explanation.
The auction is rapidly coming to an end. Eventually, the property will be owned by someone else but not the City. Then what?
Did you hear Hizzoner’s “woe is me” at the September 18 City Council Meeting? He sounded so forlorn and somehow managed to squeeze Colby’s closing, and the loss of his favorite Reuben omelets, into the McIntyre discussion. That was silly. Everyone knows that the real reason to eat at Colby’s was their cinnamon swirl French toast.
But really, Colby’s didn’t close because Hizzoner hadn’t had a chance to turn the McIntyre property into West End Yards for waiters.
But let’s get back to ME!
You know, when I grabbed second place in the last election, it was a really big deal.
I made history by becoming *what appears to be* (media hedging) the first Black assistant mayor in Portsmouth – maybe in the history of New Hampshire!
This was on the heels of another first in 2020: Mark Brave won the election to the Strafford County Sheriff’s Office, making him the only Black sheriff in the state.
Quoting Black Lives Matter Seacoast co-founder Clifton West, Jr. in the November 10, 2021, Seacoast Online: Black New Hampshire residents like Brave and Kelly are bringing their “unique experiences and voices to shape policies in our municipalities for the first time.”
The media was practically falling all over itself to write articles about ME.
Just look at that incredible story placed by my national supporters.
The Associated Press picked up the story and it was printed by the Nashua Telegraph, Concord Monitor, New Hampshire Magazine, The Philadelphia Tribune, and Union Leader to name a few.
Even the Exonian, the oldest continuously running preparatory school newspaper in America, published by guess who – the elite Phillips Exeter Academy, Hizzoner’s alma mater – penned a gushing article and included a glam shot of me with my chin resting dreamily on my left palm. Aww.
It seems strange that not one of the reporters asked how I did it, how I made history. No one had the slightest interest in wondering about the incredible “visibility” that helped me leap into second place.
I laughed and laughed because you know what? It wasn’t just because of Portsmouth voters. It’s these guys who did it: Run for Something 2021 Election Results
Don’t kid yourself, the Portsmouth City Council race isn’t a local election anymore and I am going to scoop up as much Run for Something-Help as I can.
The bold/italicized type includes info directly from the Run for Something (RFS) website and shows what I mean.
With a budget in excess of $3 million, Run for Something (funded by a PAC) is an organization with a permanently remote office structure that leverages their “national scale for local races.”
What type of candidates does RFS endorse?
- Clear-thinking thoughtful individuals who can tackle difficult economic issues?
- Those with a good understanding of challenges facing families today and the ability to identify and implement realistic solutions?
- Individuals with in-depth knowledge of city government, budgeting, and accounting?
- Experienced individuals with enough maturity and expertise that will enable them to directly deal with the entrenched bureaucracy in many city managements?
Ha! Here are RFS requirements: First, you need to be a Millennial or Gen-Zer (so Gen X or Boomers need not apply), plus they are:
“aiming to support, at minimum, 25% LGBTQIA+ candidates, 50% women candidates, and 50% candidates of color.”
For example…
In one year, they: “flipped seats on the Indianapolis city-county council, helped the youngest woman ever elected in Ames, IA, and elected the first Somali-American in Lewiston, Maine.”
And they are involved in elections everywhere…. “We work in all 50 states”,
…but they are shrewd and focused: “our regionals have identified some priorities...
…and I really lucked out: “Our tier one states include Arizona, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, NEW HAMPSHIRE!!! Pennsylvania, Texas, North Carolina, and Georgia.”
And don’t forget to Donate now! I hear that Progress Portsmouth has.
They also provide funding. “We organized an investment committee to directly fund our top endorsed candidates”
Now don’t get all backed up about folks from D.C., New Jersey or California influencing our City Council election — – I know that state and national political operatives now are big time influencers in the Portsmouth election. But so what, I deserve it!
Will 2023 be a redux of 2021? You bet! RFS endorsed me again!
…” once selected, they (endorsed candidates) work directly with RFS staff to get coaching, advice, and support however they need, including access to exclusive resources and tools. Endorsed candidates are who we promote to partners, press, and social media; they’re who we track through to election day and maintain as part of our alumni community.”
I’m already measuring the mayor’s office for new curtains!
I know what you’re thinking — I had a few bumps along the way during my first term on the City Council.
Like the time my “fat fingers” inadvertently caused me to type this tweet:
“Is there anything more annoying than a group of mediocre white men who are slightly above average in appearance?”
Here’s how I cleverly crafted a response (undoubtedly with the help of a city attorney): “I take my position as assistant mayor incredibly seriously and would like to apologize for a careless Tweet I put out last week from my private personal account.” (Portsmouth Herald, April 8, 2022)
See, it was my private personal account!
Even Hizzoner was happy: “I give her credit for apologizing and moving on.” (Portsmouth Herald, April 8, 2022)
What a guy!
What really made me mad was that my good buddies at the Portsmouth Herald published an LTE from a mediocre white guy as he called himself.
“Assistant Mayor Joanna Kelley exemplifies what I love about the First Amendment. I do not want to silence her any more than I want to silence the KKK. The First Amendment gives us a chance to hear the intelligent and the stupid equally. Let those who categorize others based on color, sex and looks spew their vitriol all they want. I want to know my enemy. I want to know the intelligence level of those we’ve elected. I want to know who the racist in the crowd might be.” April 12, 2022.
I’m not worried, that’s ancient history now!
Then there was that teensy little ethics complaint: some citizens said that I should have recused myself when the City Council voted on the Portsmouth outdoor dining policy and fees during the February 22, 2022, City Council meeting.
Well, of course I didn’t recuse myself. Do you think I’m nuts? So what if I benefit from these policies and my business partner, (one of the founders of the Thirsty Moose chain) does too?
Question: Why should I be re-elected in 2023?
Answer: Why not?
I’ve been a loyal member of the Boondoggle Nine, aka McEachern Nine, aka Duffy Nine and voted in lockstep with the group on almost everything including the huge budget that is going to cost taxpayers a bunch.
I deserve another term because I’m special!
